Reading Bill Simmons Mailbag column. You can't tell me you haven't had the exact same thought.
Q: I take my fan loyalty seriously, but the worthless Washington Redskins are pushing my F-ing limits. I am not about to jump ship, but I am also becoming increasingly convinced I will never get to root for a winner. I can see exactly what is going to happen to the Redskins over the next six months. We will finish the year 4-12 or 5-11 good enough for the 5th-10th pick. Indianapolis is going 0-16 and will get the number one pick. They will Draft Andrew Luck and put Peyton on the trading block. Hearing that he has the chance to grab a upper 30s QB who has had three neck surgeries in two years, Dan Snyder will immediately offer three first-round draft picks, two second rounders and Brian Orakpo for Peyton. Followed closely by Peyton only playing part of next season, getting hurt and then retiring. Leaving the Redskins with NO good draft picks for three years and a $90 million contract that we will of course agree to pay all of. FUCK MY LIFE! This is bullshit.
— Brian O., Washington
SG: Ladies and gentleman, your 2011 Washington Redskins!!!!!!!!!! At dinner with some friends in New York City on Wednesday night, we talked about how the hidden NFL story right now is the Colts diplomatically pretending they're not going to trade Manning next spring when everyone knows they'll pull a Montana/Chiefs on him if they get Luck. It's the smart move, and again, if you can't see it happening, I urge you to Google "Montana Chiefs trade." Someone will overpay for Manning — either a contender that's close (like the Niners), or a dumb noncontender who delusionally thinks Manning might put them over the top. And as we laid out the scenarios, my buddy House (Redskins fan) went on an expletive-laden tirade about Snyder overpaying for Manning and setting the team back five more years … you know, just like Brian O. did. By the way, what would the odds be for an "Either Tom Brady or Peyton Manning will play quarterback for the 49ers within the next 36 months" wager? 5-to-1? 6-to-1?