Matching Simpsons Characters with Redskins Players

What do you do when you love two very different things? Put them together. It worked with Red Bull and Vodka, Jack and Coke, so why not the Simpsons and Redskins? When my mind drifted off the other day, it came to me how much Haynesworth reminded me of Barney Gumble. Lazy, fat, bumbling...soon after more and more Redskins fell into place. What's ironic is that Barney isn't even the best fit for #92 (see after the jump). Behold are my 25 Redskins to Simpsons characters. I'm looking forward to the comments (additionial entries) for this one and special thanks to a couple of my friends who contributed to this as well (jayisthemac).

Character Description Redskin
Duffman
Duffman_medium 

Athletic smooth-talker who wears tight clothes and drinks heavily.

Both have scored multiple cheerleaders. OH YEAAH.

Captain Chaos
Chris-cooley_medium
Principal Skinner
Skinner_medium 

The head principal who lacks authority, is the primary subject of mockery, and at the end of the day is left to think of better days in the past. With Skinner, it was ‘Nam – and with Cerrato Notre Dame and San Fran.

Can't you just picture the Redskins owner yelling "VINNNNY!!" the same way Super Nintendo Chalmers yelled "SKINNER!"

Vinny Cerrato
Cerrato_medium 
Disco Stu
Discostu_medium 
Not much explaining needed here. Clinton Portis
Clinton-portis_medium 
Fat Tony
Fat-tony_large_medium
Physical leader of the group. Doesn't let anyone push around his mates. Al Haynesworth (2009)
Albert_haynesworth-mad_medium
Comic Book Store guy
Comicbook_medium
Fat, annoying, and doesn't have any friends..."Worst Contract...Ever!"

Al Haynesworth (2010)
Albert-haynesworth_medium

Johnny Tightlips
Johnny_medium
"I ain't sayin' nothin'!" Mike Shanahan
Shanahan_medium
Gil
Simpsons_gil_medium
Always getting fired from potential jobs. Ole Gil never catches a break! Marcus Mason
Marcus-mason_medium

Dr. Nick Riveria
Drnick_medium 

The Redskins had more injuries than I ever want to remember..10 on IR by mid-December 2009. Players mentioned the program was a joke, and the Strength staff as a result was over-hauled. John Hastings
(Head Strength & Conditioning coach 2006-9)
John_hastings_medium
Lenny
Lenny_medium
Has a high-level expetrise in his field, yet his naive actions are what shine through at work and in life. Steve Spurrier
Steve-spurrier_medium
Karl
Karl_medium
The no non-sense type and often gets annoyed with Lenny. Marvin Lewis
Marvin-lewis_medium
Hans Moleman
Moleman_medium
Although apparently elderly, claims he is much younger than he is. Joey Galloway
Joey-galloway-practice_medium 
Ned Flanders
Flanders_medium
Devout Christian who follows the Bible and attempts to instill it in others. Also loves repeating the same phrase over and over. "Okilly-dokilly" and "They really fought their guts out." Joe Gibbs
Joegibbs_medium 
Rod & Todd Flanders
 Rodandtodd_medium

Rod: Learned so much from his father and prays for his success.

Todd: The shorter of the two brothers who also follows a life of Jesus set by the examples of Ned and Rod.

Note: In Darrell Green's HoF Induction speech, he mentioned "Lord, Christ, God, or Church" 22 times. Monk said it 11 times.

Art Monk & Darrell Green
Greenandmonk_medium
Krusty the Klown
Krusty_medium
Hard-living entertainer with drug addiction and illiteracy problems. Dexter Manley
Dexter_medium

Bumble Bee Man
 Bumble-bee-man_medium

"No me gusta!" Max Zendejas
Max_zendejas_medium
McBain
Mcbain_medium

Physical force with the deep voice to match.

I'm pretty sure Rak drives a Canyonero as well.

Brian Orakpo
Orakpo_medium
Apu
Apu_nahasapeemapetilon_medium
Only foreigner I can think of that played for the Redskins. Shar Pourdanesh
Shar_medium
Abe Simpson
Grandpa_medium 
One of the patriarchs of the family, yet sometimes loses focus in the middle of his sentence. Sam Huff
Samhuff_medium
Artie Ziff
Artie_ziff_medium
Confident, nerdy, rich, and used to getting what he wants. Dan Snyder
Dansnyder_medium 
Rich Texan
Rich_texan_medium
Stereotypical rich, callous, and gregarious Texas business owner. Jerry Jones
Jerry_jones_medium 
Kent Brockman
Kent_brockman_medium 
TV personality. That's about all they have in common. Larry Michael
Larry_michael_medium
Bleeding Gums Murphy
Bleeding_gums_murphy_medium 
Enjoyed thoroughly and only by Lisa Simpson (who is a metaphor for Redskins Nation in this). Chief Zee
Chiefzee_medium 

Mix between...
Chief Wiggum
Chiefwiggum_medium 
Professor Frink
Frink_medium

He was in charge, but had no control or respect from the community or his staff.

Also, came up with bizarre inventions when helping his people in crisis.

Jim Zorn
Jim-zorn_medium

 

Galloway image via Boston Herald, Marcus Mason picture via Redskins Blog.

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