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Around SBN: The Worst Team Ever Projected?

6 Pranks the Redskins Players Should Pull on Haynesworth's Return to Camp

If anyone knows me, I love to pull pranks. When it comes to people that go out of their way to piss me off, I'll spend days or even weeks planning my schemes. Well, if I was a Redskins player, busting my butt while one teammate stays home, you better believe I'm going to prank his ass. The Redskins players need to pull a prank on Haynesworth to send two messages:

One: We own this team and you need to play by our rules,
Two: We still love and respect you, which is why we went to the effort to prank you.

Pranks are great for team chemistry and prevent that "awkward" moment, like the first time you see your ex-girlfriend at a bar. "I shouldn't have to say hi to her, she should say hi to me."

On to the prank ideas. We didn't spend 'days or weeks' on these, yet I stand by all of them:

Prank 1: Replace Albert's jersey with either one of these jerseys and have the smallest guy on the team where #92. On the current roster, that's Brandon Banks (return specialist from Kansas State) who lists as 5-7, 150 lbs. When Haynesworth arrives, everyone plays dumb and say they don't know what's up.

Jerz_medium     64-12391-1-f_medium  

Prank 2:  Have a new playbook waiting on his chair stating the Redskins are switching to a 1-6-4 where he'll have to be the lone Nose Tackle in the middle.

Prank 3: (getting into the more elaborate Photoshops...) 

Star-divide

Prank 3: Start a false rumor to appear on TMZ.com that a sex tape exists between Haynesworth and Tennessee Womens' basketball coach Pat Summitt.

Tmz_medium

Prank 4: Post any or all of these up in Haynesworth's locker prior to his arrival. With Haynesworth having played for the Tennessee Volunteers and missing voluntary workouts, these jokes write themselves.
Here's even an easily printable PDF form to help you (*cough* - Cooley - *cough* ) guys out.Haynesworthvol_medium  Cheese_head_2_3__medium

Prank 5: All 110 players on the team chip in $50 to have a Cowboys snuggie shipped to Haynesworth's' house everyday for a year (with the "From address" marked from Andre Gurode). 

Prank 6: Stock Albert's locker with 4 cases of the most top of the line knee pads, with a note signed by the whole team: "Albert, we missed you at the earlier camps, so since we know you'll have a hard time running up and down the field, we wanted to make sure you were at your most comfortable when you can't. Enjoy. Love, Team"  

Protec_park_knee_medium

Of course Albert will have a quick laugh at that....hardy-har-har. Well, when he walks out onto the field. Have this baby ready to escort him every 10 yards down field each time the offense gets a first down. I've heard players, even the most fit like Andre Carter, have been absolutely GASSED at practices. The new conditioning scheme is not a joke. This cart will be put to a lot of use...which is a perfect opportunity for comedy. They could even soop-up Vinny Cerrato's old cart since he obviously won't be using it.

Escalade_white_medium

OK...so which ones you like and what prank ideas do you have?

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Nice rims.

Maybe have a chauffeur wearing the cheese hat drive the little Cadi’. And have the Cadi’ follow him wherever he goes, just in case.

by Scorin' Scalps on May 14, 2010 3:27 AM EDT reply actions  

Steal a joke from Family Guy

Remember that episode where Stewie follows Chris around playing a funny “fat person walking” tune on a tuba? Have someone follow AH around the first few days doing that.

by gopens44 on May 14, 2010 9:25 AM EDT reply actions  

Bacon

Fill his locker with bacon…. Oh wait, he might enjoy that. :D

by BAFGA on May 14, 2010 9:34 AM EDT reply actions  

oh hell no

thats not a prank, thats a bonus

by MagicHat on May 14, 2010 9:47 AM EDT up reply actions  

and we all know Albert’s received enough bonus this year.

by travisjh86 on May 14, 2010 10:06 AM EDT up reply actions  

I like the

custom made kneepads and the Caddy. I think they should rig his locker to play the Fat Albert “hey Hey HEY” every time he opens it. They should also park all their cars, (multiple if they have to) in the parking lot so that he has to walk as far as possible.

by CJHutch on May 14, 2010 10:11 AM EDT reply actions  

Thanks for the free advertising for First Down Mobile

I’m buds with one of the owners…do you know this company?

by liger99 on May 14, 2010 10:25 AM EDT reply actions  

Just looked it up

Not a bad idea, there’s alot of lazy people out there (including me) that would probably use that.

by travisjh86 on May 14, 2010 11:02 AM EDT up reply actions  

Oh yeh, I'd ride in that.

I can see it now, laid back, beverage in hand, wind in my hair(okay, probably more like a breeze).

by Scorin' Scalps on May 14, 2010 2:30 PM EDT up reply actions  

No, but we would love to meet them.

We could definitely do some promoting in exchange for a video or two using the vehicle

by Ken Meringolo on May 14, 2010 1:23 PM EDT up reply actions  

It would be wise of him to look into running some ads on SBN in the Terps section. He also runs an online ticket broker site…I will mention it to him and steer him your way if he is down. He goes to skins games with me so maybe you all can meet then.

by liger99 on May 14, 2010 2:42 PM EDT up reply actions  

I would

make him read Tiller56’s & some of the posts on HH, that would drive anyone normal person insane

by Obey on May 14, 2010 5:59 PM EDT reply actions  

LJP???

Making him do anything with LJP would be torture enough. Like, enter them in a three-legged race and never untie them!

by tblowe10 on May 14, 2010 6:07 PM EDT reply actions  

Some players can take jokes, Some can not and they just

aren’t good ideas

I can see Albert reacting terribly to a joke and causing more issues

I would stay away from this

by Alious on May 15, 2010 4:50 PM EDT reply actions  

Haha nice work

But I don’t think Albert would approve.

I am a bear of very little brains and big words bother me.

by Topher Doll on May 16, 2010 7:08 PM EDT reply actions  

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