Multiple Sources Confirm Mike Florio Is Clueless

I have had the opportunity to contact multiple sources, and they all advise me that Mike Florio has no idea what he is talking about. Does he ever come outside? Where does he get his sources? First he drops a completely unfounded rumor that LaRon Landry is asking to be traded. When we asked the Redskins Public Relations about the rumor, they responded that they had not heard of anything even remotely like that. Then LaRon himself denied that anything like that was going on.

Today he "reports" that Clinton Portis is creating a huge problem in Redskins camp. Again, we asked the Redskins, "What's going on?" We were told that this couldn't be further from the truth. In fact, it is a classic case of Florio manufacturing the news. He trotted a quote from Riggins that is about 6 months old, and the quote about Clinton thinking he is above everyone else smacks of a quote from last year as well. This is what NBC is paying for?

Florio recently claimed that his story about the Redskins going after Brett Favre was all about Dan Snyder's "history" and the unpredictability of Favre. Is this guy for real? He based a story about Dan Snyder and the Redskins pursuing Brett Favre on absolutely NOTHING. Instead, he files it in the "Rumor" section so he gets the free pass. The guy is worse than Perez Hilton--which is saying something, because Perez is about as low as there is out there. But at least Perez knows who he is. Florio thinks he is adding something to public discussion. But all he is doing is giving a lot of haters ammo to bash teams for the stereotypical things they have done wrong in recent years. His whole site has deteriorated to an unwashed mob ripping on players and owners, while Florio feeds them manufactured tidbits that he knows will whip them into a frenzy.

I can just see him in his little bunker somewhere crapping out awful headlines for his uninformed readers to devour:

"Indictment Coming in Cincinatti for Chris Henry"

--"Inside source informs me that Henry may very well be charged with something in the next few months."

"Vikings Players Opening New Credit Cards to Rent Boats and Hookers In the Offseason"

--"Based on the Vikings history and tendencies, it certainly is possible."

"The entire Broncos' Defense Asks to be Traded"

--"It has been a rough season for Denver, and if recent history has proven anything, it is that this story may have some legs."

Let me see if I have figured out how this works: Hogs Haven RUMOR MILL

"Mike Florio Is A Douchebag"

--I spoke with a source I know and trust, and they told me that Mike Florio is, in fact, a douchebag.

"Mike Florio joins NAMBLA!"

-- Several of his thousands of readers are teenage boys, so it's only logical this is the next step.

NBC! Are you reading this? I am ready to sign my mega-contract now. Does anyone have a pen?

 

*****

Please give us your best "Florio Rumor" in the comments section. Best rumor/headline gets a prize.

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