Redskins' Headset Play-calling Communication Caught on Tape (Transcribed)!
by Kevin Ewoldt on Dec 2, 2009 7:45 AM EST
in Parodies (Having a Laugh)
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Recently reported by the Redskins Insider, Chris Cooley further explained the ridiculous play-calling scheme created by Vinny Cerrato. I was actually OK with one play caller orchestrating the run plays while another does the pass plays. However, I find it really odd that the man calling the passing plays has ZERO interaction with the passer himself (throughout the week). I guess if he did, then Jim Zorn would REALLY have nothing to do, right? It's so true what John Riggins said, "The Redskins are castrating Zorn one testes at a time."
Anyway, what I didn't know was that there were more Redskins personnel involved on the headsets than the people pictured above. After the jump is the actual verbal communication among the Redskins play-calling headsets that a fan was able to intercept with a high frequency device:
 Jason Campbell: |
(motioning to sidelines for next play) |
 Sherman Lewis: |
"2nd down. Let's go with a run." |
 Sherman Smith: |
"Isn't it 3rd down?" |
|
|
"Oh jeez, you’re right. OK, 3rd and 6. Let's do a 3-yard slant to...one second...number...82." |
 Jim Zorn: |
"How about my play we scripted Wednesday?" |
 Dan Snyder: |
"Dammit Jim! Your mic is supposed to be on mute!!" |
Sherman Lewis: |
"I'm OK with a run Sherman if you see something." |
 Vinny Cerrato: |
"Devin Thomas is open all day guys." |
Sherman Smith: |
"Everyone shut up so Lewis and I can get the damn play in!" |
Dan Snyder: |
"Tom Cruise is itching to see a reverse." |
Vinny Cerrato: |
"Devin can run that." |
Dan Snyder: |
"Vinny, bring me some of those wings and that unopened white wine." |
Jim Zorn: |
"Should I call timeout?" |
Sherman Smith: |
(sigh) "Jason. Double Reverse to Devin. Wristband 4! Jason? Oh, here you are…why aren’t you on the field?" |
Jason Campbell: |
(putting on a headset): "I called timeout 30 seconds ago." |
Dan Snyder: |
"Vinny, make those wings spicy. Jerry Maguire has a hankering to light a fire in here. And hurry it up." |
Jim Zorn: |
"Guys, how about we get a play ready to go?" |
Dan Snyder: |
"If I have to tell you to shut your mouth one more time Zorn, you’ll be collecting tickets at Six Flags by the end of the week." |
Vinny Cerrato: |
"Jimmy Clausen wouldn't have these problems." |
Sherman Smith: |
"WHAT DOWN IS IT?!?!?!" |
|
|
"WHY DO WE KEEP BURNING OUR 3RD QUARTER TIMEOUTS!??!" |
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Comments
The sad thing...
is I totally believed it up until Danny ordered the wings!! Then it took a couple more comments before I really believed it was made up.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
You have to understand
that the Redskin’s organization has lowered the standards for ineptitude to the point that I was simply primed to believe the ridiculous. It didn’t even surprise me to see Danny and Vinny in the comms loop. What can I say…?
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
The fact that it was extremely
well done works somewhat in my favor, true?
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
It's scary
Jerry Jones can listen into the headsets from the owners box. Snyder saw all this when he got a personal tour from JJ of the new stadium. So it prob is a reality. It was rumored in his early tenure that snyder bugged the coaches’ room to make sure they weren’t talking bad about him.
by Kevin Ewoldt on Dec 3, 2009 9:00 AM EST via mobile up reply actions
Are we sure
Stalin is dead? Not reincarnated?
And where’s our Jumbotron?! Anything smaller than the Jefferson Memorial will be a disappointment.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Given the competition with Jerry Jones and Danny's stature
I expect our Jumbotron to look more like the Washington Monument.
as long as it's back at RFK
it could be the sizye of freakin TEXAS!!! i want other teams’ fans to think twice about comin to DC for games like they used to
SpotieOtieDopalicious
This is sad ...
But it’s also kind of a cheap shot. Whatever the playcalling tree, I haven’t noticed the team wasting timeouts any more than they had been earlier in the season when Zorn was calling the plays all by his lonesome. They’ve reliably been throwing away 1-2 timeouts per half for several years, no matter who was calling the plays. If anything, the first couple of games they went to Lewis the timeout wastage came down.
And the offense has been better the last few weeks. Whether that’s because of Lewis, Portis being out, or Campbell just saying “What the f*ck” (a nod to Tom Cruise there), I just hope it continues.
Chris Cooleys new Washington Post article ......
says it all. Jim Zorn still controls our two minute offense now I understand why we have made some of the calls we have made during the last two minutes of quarters and games. I was hopimg it was not Sherm Lewis making some of the dumb decisions like not taking a shot into the endzone. Now according to Cooley Zorn is in charge during the Two minute drill. Wow this is very telling since this is the part of our offense that has actually gone backwards. We now move the ball better during our regular offense than during the two minute drill ???? Cooley also said that our offense looks better than it did before this new system. This means that the Sherms are better Offensive Coordinators/ play callers than Jim Zorn. Keep the Sherms fire Zorn and get a new head coach.
It did seem like retrograde motion
as soon as we hit the 2-minute mark. Suddenly, we can’t think of any plays in advance or plan a march down field without wasting clock and time outs. You have to think that Zorn participated in 2 minute drills as a QB…was he just a robot out there for the coach?
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Our 2 minute offense sucks now.
It seems like it was better when Zorn was calling the regular offense and Campbell took over in the hurry-up. Now it seems that it is Zorn’s last official duty (besides clock mis-management) so he is taking it way too seriously. Since he wants so badly to not screw up and catch blame, Zorn is being way too conservative and, as a result, stinking it up.
Zorn’s short pass wannabe WCO just doesn’t work. Give Spermin’ Sherman a direct line to Campbell and we score an extra TD a game, at least.
He is to conservative about everything ...
It seems like every decision he makes is a chore.
by LETJASONPASS on Dec 2, 2009 10:39 AM EST up reply actions
Is Zorn trying to sabotage...
the team … ???
by LETJASONPASS on Dec 2, 2009 10:37 AM EST up reply actions
that would make sense
since he doesn’t let jason call his own plays during the 2 minute drill, which couldn’t be any worse than jimmy zorn shootin dice on the sideline to come up with plays.
SpotieOtieDopalicious
Or any pass play
with the receiver covered and the pass is 2 yds or more short of the down marker.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Actually,
I just reread the whole post top to bottom. I have tears of laughter and sorrow running down my cheeks.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
more like tears of amusement from insanity
ala the joker
SpotieOtieDopalicious
OMG, so close to reality it's scary
SELL THE TEAM, DAN – get your bumper sticker at www.savetheskins.com
by savetheskins.com on Dec 2, 2009 12:48 PM EST reply actions
Funny stuff
As a long time Saints fan I can empathize with what your team is going through. I am probably giving away my age by saying so, but I was one of the few people going to our home games with a bag on my head through the awful years. The Saints used to be owned by a Texas oilman who cared nothing about the team or our city/state. Never give up, never surrender! Being able to laugh in the face of adversity helps a lot. My mantra through the bad years, “I don’t care if we beat anyone else but beat the Falcons!”
I am actually worried about playing the Redskins. Everyone in New Orleans is still talking about the Patriot game instead of talking about the Redskins. This game means home field advantage throughout the playoffs to the Saints. The Saints can not afford to celebrate as long as the city has been doing. I hope Payton and Williams are finding things to chew the Saints players out for, letting them know they are not all that and a bag of chips.
Good luck the rest of the year, beat the Cowboys.
Yea
This is thursday already and i have heard very little about the skins game thats scary
by mississippisaintsfan on Dec 3, 2009 6:13 AM EST up reply actions
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