The Onion nails it: "Redskins Hold Press Conference To Announce They Are Still Sort Of A Football Team"
by zknower on Oct 23, 2009 12:46 AM EDT
11 comments
Washington Redskins head coach Jim Zorn held a press conference Sunday to reassure fans that, despite an inability to effectively execute their offense, defense, or special teams, the Redskins were still somewhat comparable to a real football team. "It's been a tough season so far, and even though we are 2-4, we still have players, uniforms, Motorola headsets—all the components that technically constitute an NFL team, sort of," Zorn said while grimacing and making a "so-so" gesture with his hand.
"Sure, I was stripped of play-calling responsibilities by team management, and I really don't have any clue who will play quarterback for us this Sunday, but I swear to you, in a weird, very convoluted way, we are in the NFL." Placing his hand over the microphone, Zorn then spoke briefly with an unidentified man near the stage, and announced that, for what it's worth, the organization owns the Internet domain name washingtonredskins.com through 2010.
Dead on.
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Ow...my pride...
Just because you know how to read, doesn't mean you'll like the book.
by arlingtonOsFan on Oct 23, 2009 1:09 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Without our sense of humor
intact during these dark days, we would truly be lost.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
by Scott E on Oct 23, 2009 9:38 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
or sitting in a dark room staring at a .45 on the coffee table...
SpotieOtieDopalicious
by Rekka on Oct 23, 2009 9:45 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I am still
using a spork and have had all sharp instruments removed from the premises.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
by Scott E on Oct 23, 2009 11:32 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
They took...
my spork away, lol…all I have now is child-safety spoons…
by lik da freak on Oct 23, 2009 1:10 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I laughed
to hide the pain.
Et lux in tenebris lucet
by burgundyNgold on Oct 23, 2009 11:24 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Late breaking newsflash! Sherman will relay plays to new onfield Coach!
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
by GeoFly on Oct 23, 2009 3:53 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
So original!
What an original post – oh wait, no it’s not. It’s like you are…acting.
Via con dios.
by hithere1 on Oct 24, 2009 12:52 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Yeah,
I laughed when I saw that.
And then I cried.
And then I posted it to my Facebook profile.
I have a shrine dedicated to Mark Reynolds, wherein I keep his bobblehead, signed baseball, and jersey T-shirt.
by DbacksSkins on Oct 26, 2009 12:01 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
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