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Breaking: Zorn has been fired as head coach of the Redskins!

In a shocking surprise move, Snyder has decided to fire Redskins head coach Jim Zorn. In an even more shocking move, Snyder has opted to replace Zorn with himself as head coach. Snyder also annouced he will coach from the Jumbotron on Monday Night rather than from the more traditional roll on the sidelines. Marcus Mason delivered the news to Zorn after coming down from the meeting with Cerrato where Mason was told he too was no longer needed.

It was leaked to the media Tuesday night that Snyder just wasn't happy with Zorn's "Ned Flander's" style of coaching and doesn't feel there is any other way to motivate his lack luster team. He feels strongly that his players would perform better if they were to see him appearing from the jumbotron periodically during the game to assets their game play. "Snyder believes that he will be a far more effective coach shouting down from the jumbotron rather than the more traditional head coaching roll on the sidelines. He doesn't feel a coach is as effective on the sidelines" his front office spokesman said.

Snyder was overheard in a meeting saying, "My investments will have to perform better Monday night or they will be called out in front of millions on National Television." This apparently was followed by a forced evil laugh in which Snyder turned to Cerrato to ask it was believable enough....                                 

                                           

                                                 "We're off to see the Snyder, the wonderful Snyder of OZ..."

Sources close to Snyder said he contemplated coaching from his helicopter hovering over the field with a large PA system attached below, but decided against it because he was afraid the wind from the helicopter would interfere with Redskins punts and field goals. He is still keeping this as an option apparently, if the Redskins do not react favorably to the new coaching situation by half time.

All players were made aware of the situation by a flyer left in the locker room by Cerrato's assistant Tuesday morning. Campbell was asked about the new coaching situation and said, "We just need to listen to our many leaders and try and be ourselves at the same time. I won't let it distract me."

Redskin's VP was not immediately available for comment as he was busy overseeing the construction of the set inside the owner’s box for Monday night's matchup....

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