Usually when I find a nice YouTube gem I just post it on fanshots and then promote to the front page so as not to put you all to sleep with my extended commentary on why a video is entertaining, usually using erudite descriptives such as "awesome" and "really" and "I mean, seriously." But I mean, seriously, please enjoy this really awesome video of Chris Samuels seducing the world all smooth-like:

He appears shirtless, strike one ladies, and then proceeds to introduce himself with a booming voice that would inspire the faithless:

Chris Samuels: Chris Samuels, number sixty, University of Alabama, Roooooll Tide.

At this point, I've converted to the University of Alabama.  (Naw, not really.)

On his boat, which is in Washington, D.C.: "It's actually in Virginia Beach." Silly question may get the inquirer smited later.

Does the team know where you're at, Chris: "No they don't. They might not want to pay me if I get hurt." Laughter follows: they'll pay you, because your contract is approaching 100% guaranteed money with each passing year. Hah hah hah hah!

The entire video is populated with Super Nintendo era music and Chris Samuels just being ridiculously cool. I might kill someone to have a voice as deep as his. I'm convinced he has magical powers like Michael Clarke Duncan in The Green Mile. (Magical powers Magical powere Magical powers!)

It's not clear from the video that, while tubing, Samuels is actually moving fast but I guess that's why 300 pound linemen go their entire lives without tubing; it's not as fun if you're pulling the boat. (Admittedly, later in the video he does get some speed.)

Video is close to being unmatchable in sheer grace and wonder and then... Mike Sellers shows up tenderly hugging a tube next to Samuels, immediately graduating it to youtubery Hall of Fame status. Fade out: Mike Sellers, stranded in the water, cackling like a crazy person. Well played, Boating Life Magazine. Your move, Marine Engine Digest.