Surgery removes ARE 's "floating body"

I bet you're all like WTF, mate? I know I was. But, the surgery was "only" an arthroscopic knee procedure that should allow him to be ready for training camp. I say "only" because knee surgery and wide reciever never go together in a sentence without some pause. I'd prefer my WRs to be knee-scar-free just like I prefer my tits breasts to be scar free. Isn't that right, Tara Reid? (Totally NSFW and definately not safe for after lunch.)

The Yahoo! article mentions that the surgery was to remove a "floating body" that was causing discomfort and was discovered after an MRI. Hmm. Floating body, eh? Must be a technical term. I'm sure if you ask nicely, SP will take a study break and give you a detailed illustration of what, exactly, a "floating body" is. Pins and needles, my friends... I'm on pins and fcuking needles.

I'm very curious about this "floating body" in ARE's knee. I mean... how long has it been there? How did it get there? And is there significant tissue decomposition to prevent identifying the vic or even to recover any evidence? Who has two thumbs and loves his CSI marathons? This guy. (For the record, Horatio then Gil then whatever Gary Sinise's character is named... in that order. You can argue, but it won't do shite matter.)

Anyway, so now ARE's knee is "floating body" free and he should be all put back together again by training camp. Zorn, who knows about "floating bodies" and the like, gave his professional prognosis as "three to four weeks." Zorn continues:

"When they went in, whatever they found they will fix, and we will get him back going," Zorn said.

You know, Danny is really cutting corners. First the offensive coordinator, then the head coach... now he's got Zorn running his arse around giving medical opinions. Talk about scrambling ability. I wonder where all this saved cash is going?

The article finishes with news on Doughty and Golston. Doughty missed practice to be with his son, who is apparently doing much better. Honestly, you can't help but root for this guy. If he's not trying to keep his job, he is off staying with his recovering child. I don't know how he ever sleeps... kinda like Zorn. Hmm.

Golston did not practice because of a sprained ankle suffered over the weekend. Never fear, Dr. House Zorn is on the case:
"His ankle is still swollen, so he can’t run," Zorn said. "No use in getting him out here running around."
Well put. In all my years of writing, I've never found a better way to end than with a quote from someone else. So, we'll end with that. Hit up the comments. I'm out like Tara Reid's plastic surgeon ARE's "floating body" SP's chances at becoming a lawyer a blogger whose analogies have run dry.
X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Hogs Haven

You must be a member of Hogs Haven to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Hogs Haven. You should read them.

Join Hogs Haven

You must be a member of Hogs Haven to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Hogs Haven. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9341_tracker