I bet you're all like WTF, mate? I know I was. But, the surgery was "only" an arthroscopic knee procedure that should allow him to be ready for training camp. I say "only" because knee surgery and wide reciever never go together in a sentence without some pause. I'd prefer my WRs to be knee-scar-free just like I prefer my tits breasts to be scar free. Isn't that right, Tara Reid? (Totally NSFW and definately not safe for after lunch.)

The Yahoo! article mentions that the surgery was to remove a "floating body" that was causing discomfort and was discovered after an MRI. Hmm. Floating body, eh? Must be a technical term. I'm sure if you ask nicely, SP will take a study break and give you a detailed illustration of what, exactly, a "floating body" is. Pins and needles, my friends... I'm on pins and fcuking needles.

I'm very curious about this "floating body" in ARE's knee. I mean... how long has it been there? How did it get there? And is there significant tissue decomposition to prevent identifying the vic or even to recover any evidence? Who has two thumbs and loves his CSI marathons? This guy. (For the record, Horatio then Gil then whatever Gary Sinise's character is named... in that order. You can argue, but it won't do shite matter.)

Anyway, so now ARE's knee is "floating body" free and he should be all put back together again by training camp. Zorn, who knows about "floating bodies" and the like, gave his professional prognosis as "three to four weeks." Zorn continues:

"When they went in, whatever they found they will fix, and we will get him back going," Zorn said.

You know, Danny is really cutting corners. First the offensive coordinator, then the head coach... now he's got Zorn running his arse around giving medical opinions. Talk about scrambling ability. I wonder where all this saved cash is going?

The article finishes with news on Doughty and Golston. Doughty missed practice to be with his son, who is apparently doing much better. Honestly, you can't help but root for this guy. If he's not trying to keep his job, he is off staying with his recovering child. I don't know how he ever sleeps... kinda like Zorn. Hmm.

Golston did not practice because of a sprained ankle suffered over the weekend. Never fear, Dr. House Zorn is on the case:

"His ankle is still swollen, so he can’t run," Zorn said. "No use in getting him out here running around."

Well put. In all my years of writing, I've never found a better way to end than with a quote from someone else. So, we'll end with that. Hit up the comments. I'm out like Tara Reid's plastic surgeon ARE's "floating body" SP's chances at becoming a lawyer a blogger whose analogies have run dry.