Now Look Here...There's Only One Ball Coach


At Coach Zorn's press conference to explain why he called himself the "Worst Coach In America", shoes started flying. With Vinny on one side and Snyder on the other (you can't see him over the podium), the pool of reporters started stirring and out emerged the Ole' Ball Coach himself, Steve Spurrier.

As Spurrier hurled the first of two shoes at Zorn's head, he screamed, "If anyone's the worst coach in America, it's me! You wish you could have invented using the Fun N' Gun against the best defenses in the NFL! How dare you infringe on my territory of coaching crappiness!"

Zorn was able to avoid being hit by any of the shoes. Asked about the incident, Zorn said, "All I can say is that Steve's shoes are very, very, very small. We were able to trace them back to a local Stride Rite for Kids. He must have an incredibly tiny penis."

From his position alongside Zorn, Vinny Cerrato was able to provide this insight, "From where I stood it looked like what Spurrier was trying to do was to try and, you know, project...kind of toss, if you will, the shoes in Jim's direction. In that situation what you want to do is try and move your body...try and you know, kind of twist yourelf in such a way as the shoe kind of, you know, kind of fails to make contact with the body."

Snyder, as always, had no comment.

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