And the award goes to...

by Skin Patrol on Jun 22, 2007 11:42 AM EDT

In case you didn't notice, Dan Snyder's Red Zone Capital purchased Dick Clark Productions Inc., securing the rights to hundreds of hours of American Bandstand, and a New Year's Eve Rockin' something or other broadcast, among other things. Final word on the issue belongs, as usual, to the incomparable Ben at The Curly R:

Business acquisitions are often about 'synergies' and 'dynamism' and 'cross-pollination' and the Dan crew is already installing flat-panel TVs at every food station and ride line at Six Flags, where we will be able to see a random episode of AB while we wait. Yes, they actually said that. That craning our necks up to watch episodes of a TV show that survived 20 years longer than it should have and featured people dancing while artists lip synched would actually be something the masses would be thankful for.

There's your justification for paying the premium entry fee right there, that you can skip food and ride lines just so you don't have to watch that shit.

And it occurs to me that if Dan spent 175 million dollars on this and then will be spending millions more on flatscreen TVs and a closed-circuit television system for the parks that he may have to cut back on staff, which creates longer lines, thus justifying need for entertainment in line. It's a co-branding marketing experiment that sounds better in the pitch session than it will at the park.

The good news? It keeps Dan Snyder busy, right? Anyways, in only very tangentially Redskins-related news as it pertains to Dan Snyder kind-of-sort-of, Product Placement News deserves the award for Worst Headline In History for this doozy: Dick Clark Productions Meets Deep Throat. Get it? Dick? Deep Throat? Yuck yuck yuck:

On the same day RedZone Capital announced the acquisition of dick clark productions, inc., the licensing show was under way in New York. Participants included Disney, Paramount, Dick Clark and Arrow Productions, who proudly displayed a poster for their classic film Deep Throat right across from the Dick Clark booth.

Who is Arrow Productions you ask?

Arrow Productions is the oldest adult production company. In information provided to the Licensing show:

"Arrow started the whole Adult Entertainment Industry with the blockbusters like Deep Throat, Debbie Does Dallas, and Tell them Jonny Wadd was Here. Arrow is the true legend in the Adult Industery."

Speaking of Deep Throat, does anyone else find this interesting (emphasis mine):

The poster from Deep Throat (enhanced in the photo above) was an 'attention grabber', especially when one explores the total revenue of the film - one FBI source suggests $100 million, but numbers as high as $600 million have also been cited, which would make the movie the most profitable of all time.

That's some mighty good tax dollars at work. Accumulating revenue data on 70s Porno flicks ranks right ahead of tracking down America's Most Wanted criminal Victor Gerena as far as I'm concerned. By the way, 1M is yours if you help the FBI, reader(s), don't say I never did you any favors.

Wait, did you say... one million dollars???

Enormous thanks to Flubby and Big Daddy Drew of Kissing Suzy Kolber for finding and posting what is, by far, the funniest video I've seen in my entire life.

Redskins related minutiae continues, now. Sorry for the interruption.

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