Top 10 Ways to Mess with Owners & Players if I Won the Lottery

If I won the lottery, here's the top 10 promotional nights I would pay to make happen:


10.) "Make it Rain Night". For Pacman Jones's first game back...give every fan in the upper deck a stack of $100 in singles in funny money.



9.) "Travis Henry Protection Night". If you're not aware, Travis Henry has 9 kids with 9 women. Buy every ticket in the stadium and give each person carrying a baby 1 free ticket. A whole stadium with crying babies would be hysterical. Free condoms at the door as well.



8.) "Free Beer and Frisbee Giveaway Night." I always wanted to mix a 'free draft beer' with a frisbee night promotion. If I had to pick (and I can since I just won the lottery), I choose the next Eagles home game when they play the Cowboys. I am just visualizing the barrage now:



7.) "Latrell 'I feed my kidz' Spreewell Boxed Dinner Night". Every kid 18 and under gets a free dinner upon entry.



6.) "Seal On Ice". I enjoy seeing people suffer, so for the 90,000+ that attend the outdoor NHL game in Buffalo this year, I would pay to have this as the intermission show and laugh my ass off while people boo. Frisbee night would be a good merger for this as well.

http://www.seal.com/index.php/2007/10/16/seal-brings-his-music-to-life-on-ice-in-one-time-only-live-skating-production/



5.) "Welcome Back Trent Green Night". Buy 60,000 neck braces and hand them out to each person for Trent Green's first game back.

** Bonus - Anyone who arrives at the front gate in a gurney gets free tickets to next week's game as well.



4.) "Screw Dan Snyder". Being a Skins fan, I can personally attest to the OUTRAGEOUS parking prices that exist (like last year as a season ticket holder I had to pay $20 to park for a SCRIMMAGE). Not to mention Snyder bought out all the nearby parking areas and jacked the prices for those spots too. To add to the frustration, you cannot get into the parking areas until 4 hours before game time (presumably to keep people sober to buy food/drink inside).

My proposal: Build a massive 20,000 car garage next to Fedex Field with free parking, shuttles, tailgate parties, and jerseys.





3.) "Welcome Back Vick Night". Whatever team Vick comes back to play for, make a huge donation to allow people to "bring your dog to the game", and have the dogs barking the entire game.



For an extra $15 mil, I would demand to have full control of the PA system/DJ.

DJ Tracklist:
- Baja Men: "Who let the dogs out" (obviously) - played between each offensive play
- NIN : "I want to f*ck you like an Animal" (anytime he takes the field)
- Anything by Snoop Dogg, DMX, 3 dog night, or Lil Bow Wow
- Blink 182 - (Just read the lyrics) http://www.tsrocks.com/b/blink-182_texts/fuck_a_dog.html

Bonus: Right before kickoff, I would "Ask for a moment of silence for all the lost pets out there...," and then say "..and For Michael Vick" and then blow my silent dog whistle into the PA speaker so all the dogs go f'n ape-shit.


2.) "Romo(sexual) Fan Appreciation Night". I'd buy every ticket I could at Cowboys (Irving) stadium (minimum 20,000+) and pass them out to every flamer in Dallas the night before ... with the deal they can have the ticket to the game for free if they wore a cut-off tight Romo jersey and whistled at him the whole game.



1.) "Chris Henry Gat Night". Cincinnati Bengals. Every person in the stadium gets a free cap gun. It'll be like a Mexican wedding when Chris Henry scores.

** you got any suggestions? add them via Comments....for those of you that wished I used Eli manning for #2, believe me, it was a close call.


X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Hogs Haven

You must be a member of Hogs Haven to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Hogs Haven. You should read them.

Join Hogs Haven

You must be a member of Hogs Haven to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Hogs Haven. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9341_tracker